The weather was perfect for me. I did not want to make this visit in the summer, even though I don't like the cold. I wanted to feel cold. I wanted to feel wet. I wanted to feel miserable. The Polish weather did not let me down.
Before getting on the coach I went to a little bakery to get a cuppa and met Sophia who was 7 years old who speaks Ukrainian, Polish, Russian and English! I will just let that sink in. She was amazing and so confident. I learned to say yes in Polish (tak) and that is all. We really are lazy as a nation when it comes to learning other languages.
I made my way to where the coach was setting off and the guide gave us some indication on how the day would pan out. He reminded people that it is not the place to take selfies! I mean, a if. Yet I did see a family, with a selfie-stick take a photograph of them all smiling - why? Food and drink is not allowed inside of the camp (unless for medical reasons) and there is no smoking or vaping allowed.
The coach arrived to a huge, what looked like a newly built entrance with a massive car park and it was so busy. It felt odd to me as it was a bit like turning up to a theme park. I appreciate they have to supply parking and toilets but it did leave me with mix feelings. There is strict security screening as you enter the museum. My ticket had my name on it and I had to bring some ID (my passport in my case) with my name on it. My ticket was checked against my ID. There was airport screening. All pockets emptied, boots off as I past throw a scanner which, yes, you guessed, I set off. No idea why but this always happens.
Once you have cleared security you go down stairs to meet your guide and to get your headphone set. Once we were all set up our guide lead us out through what was like a football tunnel which finally come up in daylight. We walked a little bit more and then were greeted with the entrance. The one that we are all familiar with:
Please note that I did not take any photos on this tour. It did not seem right to walk round taking snaps. I wanted to stay in the moment. All photos shown in today's blog are stock photos.
As we passed under the arch way a guy in the tour (he was Italian) took his baseball cap off and crossed himself. I found this very moving. We were taken into the huts that had some exhibitions. In some of them you are not allowed to take photos: the ones that show piles and piles of hair, human hair that was sent from he camps to factory to make pillows. The place where there was a huge display of glasses that were taken from people. 1000s of them. A display of false legs, arms, feet you name it. Just all piled up. The one that got to me was the display of shoes and boots. Most of the shoes were dark coloured, muddy and tatty. Yet there was one, just one, bright red shoe. I love red shoes. I was really moved by that one shoe and could not stop looking at it thinking about the woman who it belonged too. There was a huge display of cases. All luggage was taken off people at the station. They were told to chalk their name on the case and where they were from. 1000s of pieces of luggage, each showing a name and home town. So sad.
Stock photo
We were taken to Block 11 where they used to torture people and put them on trial. As if this was not enough. There were tiny cells where people were put to starve to death. Keeping in mind that each person was given around 300 calories of food to eat a day. Working in extreme cold. Working 12-14 hours a day on 300 calories. It did not take long for people to be starved to death. Outside of this block was the Death Wall where people were taken to be shot. There is always a beautiful flower display there. I had decided before I took this trip that I wanted to say or do something significant. The Jewish faith say prayer called The Mourner's Kaddish. I found this prayer which is said in Hebrew but I managed to find an English translation. I stood very quietly by this wall and read out quietly the prayer:
May the great Name of God be exalted and sanctified, throughout the world, which he has created according to his will. May his Kingship be established in your lifetime and in your days, and in the lifetime of the entire household of Israel, swiftly and in the near future; and say, Amen. May his great name be blessed, forever and ever. Blessed, praised, glorified, exalted, extolled, honored, elevated and luaded be the Name of the holy one, Blessed is he – above and beyond any blessings and hymns, Praises and consolations which are uttered in the world; and say Amen. May there be abundant peace from Heaven, and life, upon us and upon all Israel; and say, Amen.
He who makes peace in his high holy places, may he bring peace upon us, and upon all Israel; and say Amen.
The Death Wall
We then walked to the area where roll call took place. Sometimes people were standing out in the cold, with no shoes, rags for hours and hours. Anyone who collapsed was beaten. In front of this area was a joist like an RSJ and this is where they would hang people for all to see. My heart was so heavy. It is hard to take it all in. I felt numb. My hands were buzzing. There was only one gas chamber at this camp (the main ones were at Birkenau). It was destroyed when the Russians invaded but it had been rebuilt to give you an idea of what it was like. As you pass through there you come out into the light and that is the end of the tour.
It was so informative and a privilege to be there, it really was. The coach was quiet when we all got back on it and then we were taken about 3km down the road to Birkenau or Auschwitz II. Again, we parked at a brand new car park and then walked to the camp, about a five minute walk. This is what I was created with:
It was the train track that really got to me. It was so long, so straight and lead right into the camp and then just stopped. The end of the line. The point of no return. This is where selection took place. Those who were either fit men, under 50 were kept to work; women, children, people over 50 were sent straight to the gas chambers. Being told they were taken a shower. They would have believed this as they had been travelling in cattle tracks for days and days without food, water or toilets. All of the gas chambers have been destroyed but we walked right to the end of the camp to the ruins Crematorium 2. I just stood and looked and then again, read the Mourner's Kaddish.
I had been told by people that the atmosphere is really odd in the camps and I agree. But I did hear a bird singing at Auschwitz and saw a cat, of all things, in the grounds at Birkenau which lifted my heart. Birkenau, when compared to Auschwitz is massive. Most of the huts were destroyed when the Russians arrived but you can see as far as you can see rubble where each hut had once stood.
We went back to the coach and travelled back to Krakow about 1 hour 20 minutes away. The coach was quiet.
I chose to go on this trip on Saturday as 11 November is Polish Independence Day. The day the country was free from the Russians. I wanted to go to the camps on this day as I knew there would be a lighthearted atmosphere in town and that is what I needed to be reminded of - that life goes on.
I spent some time in the Old Town, by the Square soaking up the music and watching the locals celebrate their important day. There are some beautiful stalls in the old Cloth Hall on the Square and I managed to pick up a few lovely gifts for Christmas. By then I was cold, wet and tired so made my way back to my little apartment which was lovely and warm and snug. I needed a shower to wash away the day and just sat and reminded myself that no matter how hard done by we can all feel at times, my life is perfect. Just perfect. I am so lucky to live the life I have been given.
As always, with my love. As with love all things are possible.
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